Today I left the lights on, draining the battery of my friends car.
Then I lost my favorite shirt at the gym.
And then flooded my kitchen/living room by leaving the hot water tap on while I meandered off to vacum.
Post-exam brain? Yep.
Stress level even registering on the Richter? Nope.
I love life.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
All Quiet
I needed a couple of days away from my computer screen and away from the confines of my office. Now that I've read a few hundred pages of my book, slept in, gone for walks, talked to my family, prepared a turkey feast for 10 people (on one hours notice), and worn my housecoat for >5h straight...I feel like I can sit in here and stare at my computer screen again.
It's been wholly up-and-downish since my last exam (anatomy spotter of doom) on Wednesday afternoon. If you want a more detailed account of how those exams work I linked to my previous explanations in the last post. A quick and dirty version: there are 25 desks, 50 questions. 1 minute per question. When the buzzer goes, after two minutes, you get up and move to the next desk. Everyone starts at a different point on the exam, this time I started at question #15.
I was flying! Remember, these exams are designed to make grown men cry (and they do). This semester I opted for a different study tack, and I think I cracked the code. Our anatomy prof gives us about 15-25 images each week with our learning objectives for the case. That is what most people study on because often it is these images that turn up on the exams. Now that we've been in school for a year and a half this means the amount of slides that could be chosen from are >600. Instead of madly trying to go through all the slides from the past I picked the concepts that keep coming up and looked at as many images of those things, from different sources--especially imaging atlases (because I am really trying to train myself to visualize the 3D version of x-rays, CT, MRI). I spent time reading up on hernias, embryology of the face, cardiac circulation, head injuries, lung pathologies, etc. in general and avoided my notes all together.
It totally worked. The first 10 questions seemed almost laughably easy. I was trying not to grin at how well prepared I felt and how much I was ROCKING THIS EXAM!! Oh what a feeling.
Hang on.
I am supposed to be at question 26. But I am at question 25 on my bubble sheet? BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!! (i.e. move to the next station)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Yep. Somehow I got out of sync with the numbers, I missed filling in a bubble somewhere. Somewhere between the vagus nerve question and the head injury one.
Oh God. I am going to vomit. What question am I looking at now. Yes, ok fine common fibular nerve question...ok should I try and figure out where I made the mistake? Should I flag my prof down? I thought for sure that vagus question the answer was "D" but it looks like I put "E", maybe that is where I screwed up, maybe...BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Ok I am going to be sick. No, don't be sick. Forget it. Move on. Finish this exam as well as possible. FINISH in STYLE. Don't have a meltdown now. Don't vomit now.
Head in the game. Game face. Bring it.
I finished the exam. Told my prof on the way out that I'd gotten out of sync somewhere between 15 (where I started) and 26. He just said "Oh, ABB!" with genuine empathy and disappointment for me. He said he'd look through my answers and try to rectify the situation if he could.
It was actually too much. He's a real hard ass, so getting his very kind response brought on wave of nausea number three--I bolted.
Home, called my mother. Cried. Composed myself and called my prof. I told him I didn't expect he could really fix anything but that I'd told him only because my ego/vanity couldn't handle the thought that he wouldn't see the mark that I had been on my way to getting. I know, I lost prob max 10-12% in the mistake (and maybe a smattering more due to the momentary panic), but that I passed overal. Thing is, I don't obsess about grades. I want to learn this stuff for the sake of being an excellent, safe, competent physician. I can't even tell you what I got last year because I looked at my marks and then forgot about them. But for once, and for the first time in medical school I felt like everything came together during an exam!
He told me not to worry, the exam was only worth 14% of my total marks for the year and that it would in no way compromise my academic standing overall. We wished each other a Merry Christmas and hung up.
I changed from my nervous-sweat-soaked t-shirt and headed to the pub. I suddenly missed my friends and classmates and I wanted nothing more than to be getting "yay we're done!" hugs and drinking a Guinness. It was over, I was past it, and I wanted to reclaim the celebratory feeling that I deserved.
I reclaimed it and it has been a sweet, sunny, quiet few days since.
It's been wholly up-and-downish since my last exam (anatomy spotter of doom) on Wednesday afternoon. If you want a more detailed account of how those exams work I linked to my previous explanations in the last post. A quick and dirty version: there are 25 desks, 50 questions. 1 minute per question. When the buzzer goes, after two minutes, you get up and move to the next desk. Everyone starts at a different point on the exam, this time I started at question #15.
I was flying! Remember, these exams are designed to make grown men cry (and they do). This semester I opted for a different study tack, and I think I cracked the code. Our anatomy prof gives us about 15-25 images each week with our learning objectives for the case. That is what most people study on because often it is these images that turn up on the exams. Now that we've been in school for a year and a half this means the amount of slides that could be chosen from are >600. Instead of madly trying to go through all the slides from the past I picked the concepts that keep coming up and looked at as many images of those things, from different sources--especially imaging atlases (because I am really trying to train myself to visualize the 3D version of x-rays, CT, MRI). I spent time reading up on hernias, embryology of the face, cardiac circulation, head injuries, lung pathologies, etc. in general and avoided my notes all together.
It totally worked. The first 10 questions seemed almost laughably easy. I was trying not to grin at how well prepared I felt and how much I was ROCKING THIS EXAM!! Oh what a feeling.
Hang on.
I am supposed to be at question 26. But I am at question 25 on my bubble sheet? BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!! (i.e. move to the next station)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Yep. Somehow I got out of sync with the numbers, I missed filling in a bubble somewhere. Somewhere between the vagus nerve question and the head injury one.
Oh God. I am going to vomit. What question am I looking at now. Yes, ok fine common fibular nerve question...ok should I try and figure out where I made the mistake? Should I flag my prof down? I thought for sure that vagus question the answer was "D" but it looks like I put "E", maybe that is where I screwed up, maybe...BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Ok I am going to be sick. No, don't be sick. Forget it. Move on. Finish this exam as well as possible. FINISH in STYLE. Don't have a meltdown now. Don't vomit now.
Head in the game. Game face. Bring it.
I finished the exam. Told my prof on the way out that I'd gotten out of sync somewhere between 15 (where I started) and 26. He just said "Oh, ABB!" with genuine empathy and disappointment for me. He said he'd look through my answers and try to rectify the situation if he could.
It was actually too much. He's a real hard ass, so getting his very kind response brought on wave of nausea number three--I bolted.
Home, called my mother. Cried. Composed myself and called my prof. I told him I didn't expect he could really fix anything but that I'd told him only because my ego/vanity couldn't handle the thought that he wouldn't see the mark that I had been on my way to getting. I know, I lost prob max 10-12% in the mistake (and maybe a smattering more due to the momentary panic), but that I passed overal. Thing is, I don't obsess about grades. I want to learn this stuff for the sake of being an excellent, safe, competent physician. I can't even tell you what I got last year because I looked at my marks and then forgot about them. But for once, and for the first time in medical school I felt like everything came together during an exam!
He told me not to worry, the exam was only worth 14% of my total marks for the year and that it would in no way compromise my academic standing overall. We wished each other a Merry Christmas and hung up.
I changed from my nervous-sweat-soaked t-shirt and headed to the pub. I suddenly missed my friends and classmates and I wanted nothing more than to be getting "yay we're done!" hugs and drinking a Guinness. It was over, I was past it, and I wanted to reclaim the celebratory feeling that I deserved.
I reclaimed it and it has been a sweet, sunny, quiet few days since.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Exam Time
Had two exams yesterday. One at 0900h and one at 1600h. Nothing like having a 5 hour break in between to feel nauseated, anxious, and exhausted while trying to decide if cramming if futile or beneficial.
Turns out in this case it was beneficial.
I knew I'd be too frazzled to concentrate on studying (and the nagging voice of 'should I even be doing this?') so I went for a run right after. A totally killer-hill-interval-one in a desperate attempt to flush my body of all the adrenaline of the morning (as well as some of the junk food I've been eating this past 2 weeks).
I went back to my study pit and tried to focus, despite the workout I was having a pretty hard time looking over stuff and keeping it in. In the morning we'd had our EMQ exam--for those of you not cursed with this type of exam I'll give a quick example (my apologies to the non-med readers, you can skip the boring blah blah blah and head to the bottom):
For each clinical scenario below, give the most likely cause for the clinical findings. Each option can be used one, more than once, or not at all.
A-Myeloma
B-Hodgkin's Lymphoma
C-polycythaemia vera
D-amyloidosis
E- chronic lymphocytic leukaemia
F-Waldenstrom's macroglobulinaemia
G-acute lymphoblastic leukaemia
H-Burkitt's lymphoma
I-paroxysmal nocturnal haemoblobinuria
J-essential thrombocythaemia
K-chronic myeloid leukaemia
L-antiphospholipid syndrome
1. A 25 year old man presents with enlarged painless lymph nodes in the neck. His peripheral blood film shows Reed-Sternberg cells.
2. A 45 year old man presents with fever, weight loss, tiredness and gout. On examination there is splenomegaly. WBC 112. The Philadelphia chromosome is detected.
3. A 70 year old woman complains of weight loss, headache, blurry vision, lethargy and hematuria. Positive findings on exam include cervical lymphadenopathy, splenomegaly, and numerous retinal hemorrhages. Bone marrow biopsy shows lymphoplasmacytoid cell infiltrate.
4. A 27 year old man presents with haemolytic anemia after surgery. He reports a history of recurrent abdominal pains. Ham's test is positive.
5. 60 Year old man presents with headaches, blurred vision, and itching over the whole body (the last after a hot bath). Positive findings on examination include plethoric facies and moderate splenomegaly. Hct: 65%. *
Yeah, so that wasn't a question from our exam but it was a sample of the EVIL that is EMQ. The whole idea is that by giving many answers the 'posible right answer by guessing' amount is decreased to an insignificant amount.
I usually feel pretty strong about my ability to perform on these, and don't get AS stressed as I do about the long answer exam or the anatomy spotter. The thing that scares me about the long answer is that if I get a question that I have no idea about then suddenly I see a barren desert in my mind. Tumble weeds blow by and the soundtrack to a western movie starts playing in the background. I'm sitting at the desk, in the middle of this desert and it a tumbleweed bumps into me on its way by.
[Cue scream of mortification at the thought of one of my profs marking my exam!!!]
Well yesterday was a little different. I felt like I got spanked by the EMQ compared to the long answer. Out of 100 questions on the morning exam it seemed like well over half were pure pharmacology questions. There was ONE, I repeat ONE thread on bone physiology and that was it for physiology. I have a pretty decent grasp of pharm but some of the questions were ridiculous--like knowing length of action verses T1/2, etc. It is simply not possible to memorize those things for every drug when you're expected to know a couple hundred meds. GAH!
In the in between as mentioned I was faffing a bit but just before leaving I picked up my USMLE book to look something up regarding estrogen (this school has proven to be OBSESSED with sex hormones). Just by chance I saw the summary of polycystic ovary disease. I looked at it, remembering vaguely having a case of PCOD last year in the fall.
YEP. It was one of the 6 long answer questions!! YIPPEEEE! I would have gotten ZERO on that question if at about 20 mins to exam time I hadn't chanced on that little box summary (bad pun intended).
So I don't know. I am of two minds now on the whole last minute cramming thing? Thoughts? Experiences? Cited journal articles telling me I should or shouldn't do it?
Tomorrow is my last exam. Anatomy spotter.
We meet again!! (dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn)
[Cue scream of mortification at the thought of one of my profs marking my exam!!!]
Well yesterday was a little different. I felt like I got spanked by the EMQ compared to the long answer. Out of 100 questions on the morning exam it seemed like well over half were pure pharmacology questions. There was ONE, I repeat ONE thread on bone physiology and that was it for physiology. I have a pretty decent grasp of pharm but some of the questions were ridiculous--like knowing length of action verses T1/2, etc. It is simply not possible to memorize those things for every drug when you're expected to know a couple hundred meds. GAH!
In the in between as mentioned I was faffing a bit but just before leaving I picked up my USMLE book to look something up regarding estrogen (this school has proven to be OBSESSED with sex hormones). Just by chance I saw the summary of polycystic ovary disease. I looked at it, remembering vaguely having a case of PCOD last year in the fall.
YEP. It was one of the 6 long answer questions!! YIPPEEEE! I would have gotten ZERO on that question if at about 20 mins to exam time I hadn't chanced on that little box summary (bad pun intended).
So I don't know. I am of two minds now on the whole last minute cramming thing? Thoughts? Experiences? Cited journal articles telling me I should or shouldn't do it?
Tomorrow is my last exam. Anatomy spotter.
We meet again!! (dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn)
--
*Ok you nerds, the answers to the EMQ are in the comments.
*Ok you nerds, the answers to the EMQ are in the comments.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Happy/Sad
Today I got a little care package from my sister in law (who is this beautiful, athletic, hilarious, thoughtful, supermom/superwife). She sends me these parcels from time to time, and they are always such a treat.
 |
| Everyone hates licorice so there is always plenty left for me. |
With the tea she also included a little card from my niece and nephews, which was both delightful and depressing.
My favorite line is from Aidan, my 10 year old nephew: "hope you have a good Christmas, where ever you are". Totally got a lump in my throat as I read it. I really miss my family, and getting to see the little ones growing up. Everyone is going to be in Australia for Christmas but I am staying here to do a project for school (shadowing ALS paramedics) so that I won't have to do it in June (when I'll need to be studying for the USMLE).
I know that my travels are abstract in their little worlds, and I've been away for the last eight Christmases (usually working), so this is nothing new to them. It's just that sometimes I hate being the wayward Auntie that is always away.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Splinters and Successes
I am done (soooo done) studying for the day, but before I crash out for a fitful repose I wanted to quickly post about the USMLE course that I started last night.
Ok so the school didn't pick the best evening to start the class but I figured I'd go anyway, not like I had any other plans from 1900-2300h (ha!) This first session was basically a getting-to-know what we are up against and how to prepare for the exam. It was taught by Dr. Stephen Daugherty via web from Chicago, and moderated by a techie in London. Needless to say we had some technical difficulties and it resulted in him being mic'd through a cell phone for the presentation, but, it worked.
He's actually a very good presenter and I found 90% of his talk interesting and helpful (pretty hilarious in parts as well). His background is in psychology and he appears to have a special interest inwatching medical students suffer exam psychology, in relation to medical students.
One thing that really resounded for me though was at the end of the lecture he was talking about successes and failures, mainly around the theme of success on the exam, of course. With that, he made an excellent point, he said that success in medicine (i.e. acing the USMLE) isn't something to be celebrated, it is a splinter that has been removed. It really isn't as pessimistic as it sounds, and I chuckled at the accuracy of the statement. Why didn't someone say that to me TEN YEARS AGO???
For a long long long loooooonnnnnnngggg time I thought that the MCAT was the pinnacle for me. It was like this really big, frightening, monster exam with teeth that dripped blood of recent pre-med wannabes. It seemed like such an obstacle that it took me several years of stalling, starting another career, and studying other things in university before I could muster up the nerve to even attempt the pre-requisites for medical school...then write the MCAT.
Once the denouement of that story was behind me things quickly shifted to the next false summit, getting IN.
Hell. That was a year from hell. The application process and the waiting is horrible. I'd already been rejected once before a few years ago by all the schools that didn't require an MCAT. But, now I felt I'd gotten over what once seemed a nearly impossible event--completing all the pre-requisites and the MCAT. That (massive victory for me) was pretty much lost in the chaos of submitting applications.
Then I got rejected at most schools and got accepted by a few. And I really thought that I'd achieved *the ultimate*. My life-long goal, right? MEDICAL SCHOOL.
Does this sound like I lacked even a shred of self awareness or insight to anyone but me? I honestly shake my head at how absurd it sounds while I write it out. But my profile rant alludes to the discovery that was on the horizon for me. Things don't become PERFECT when you realize a long-term goal. It just means that itch has finally been scratched. That sliver has been pulled out.
And there is another horizon, far far off that my eyes are fixed on now. And things are still frustrating, and upsetting, and annoying sometimes. Things didn't suddenly fall into place for me the day I started medical school. Life is wonderful and challenging and funny and stupid and unpredictable just like it was the entire time I was staring at that false summit of getting in. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that I have achieved something to be where I am today. What I took a while to discover though is the truth behind the enjoying the journey mentality.
It's good now that I have a different perspective on this, because I catch myself falling back into the "can't wait until" fantasy world. These fantasies about acing the USMLE, or landing the ultimate residency and how things will be so much better then. But they won't be, necessarily. I say that because really, my life was great 5 years ago, my life is great today, and hopefully my life will be great 5 years.
And for now, I just have this sliver in my paw. A big one called "Christmas exams" and another one called "USMLE".
Rant done. Sleep required.
Ok so the school didn't pick the best evening to start the class but I figured I'd go anyway, not like I had any other plans from 1900-2300h (ha!) This first session was basically a getting-to-know what we are up against and how to prepare for the exam. It was taught by Dr. Stephen Daugherty via web from Chicago, and moderated by a techie in London. Needless to say we had some technical difficulties and it resulted in him being mic'd through a cell phone for the presentation, but, it worked.
He's actually a very good presenter and I found 90% of his talk interesting and helpful (pretty hilarious in parts as well). His background is in psychology and he appears to have a special interest in
One thing that really resounded for me though was at the end of the lecture he was talking about successes and failures, mainly around the theme of success on the exam, of course. With that, he made an excellent point, he said that success in medicine (i.e. acing the USMLE) isn't something to be celebrated, it is a splinter that has been removed. It really isn't as pessimistic as it sounds, and I chuckled at the accuracy of the statement. Why didn't someone say that to me TEN YEARS AGO???
For a long long long loooooonnnnnnngggg time I thought that the MCAT was the pinnacle for me. It was like this really big, frightening, monster exam with teeth that dripped blood of recent pre-med wannabes. It seemed like such an obstacle that it took me several years of stalling, starting another career, and studying other things in university before I could muster up the nerve to even attempt the pre-requisites for medical school...then write the MCAT.
Once the denouement of that story was behind me things quickly shifted to the next false summit, getting IN.
Hell. That was a year from hell. The application process and the waiting is horrible. I'd already been rejected once before a few years ago by all the schools that didn't require an MCAT. But, now I felt I'd gotten over what once seemed a nearly impossible event--completing all the pre-requisites and the MCAT. That (massive victory for me) was pretty much lost in the chaos of submitting applications.
Then I got rejected at most schools and got accepted by a few. And I really thought that I'd achieved *the ultimate*. My life-long goal, right? MEDICAL SCHOOL.
Does this sound like I lacked even a shred of self awareness or insight to anyone but me? I honestly shake my head at how absurd it sounds while I write it out. But my profile rant alludes to the discovery that was on the horizon for me. Things don't become PERFECT when you realize a long-term goal. It just means that itch has finally been scratched. That sliver has been pulled out.
And there is another horizon, far far off that my eyes are fixed on now. And things are still frustrating, and upsetting, and annoying sometimes. Things didn't suddenly fall into place for me the day I started medical school. Life is wonderful and challenging and funny and stupid and unpredictable just like it was the entire time I was staring at that false summit of getting in. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate that I have achieved something to be where I am today. What I took a while to discover though is the truth behind the enjoying the journey mentality.
It's good now that I have a different perspective on this, because I catch myself falling back into the "can't wait until" fantasy world. These fantasies about acing the USMLE, or landing the ultimate residency and how things will be so much better then. But they won't be, necessarily. I say that because really, my life was great 5 years ago, my life is great today, and hopefully my life will be great 5 years.
And for now, I just have this sliver in my paw. A big one called "Christmas exams" and another one called "USMLE".
Rant done. Sleep required.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Fear
It's really starting to set in.
Since we get our curriculum delivered via case-studies (PBL) and our exams are cumulative for years 1 and 2 that means I have to memorize/learn/understand/regurgitate 48 cases from the last year and a half for my exams. Which start in 8 days.
Each case has an anatomy component (these weekly mini-case studies we have to know around all the differentials, embryology, etc--usually about 20 slides), a histology component (usually about 30 slides), pharmacology, physiology, pathology, stats, and of course all the psycho-social stuff (which has yet to ever show up on an exam).
So I thought I'd get through all the cardiac cases today (as a treat to myself, since I like cardiac).
Yeah, I got through 2 cases. TWO. And I have cranked out a solid 10-11h of focused study. This is not good. I think I will have to abandon all plans for actually going through cases properly and go into a take-no-prisoners mode. I don't know what that last statement means but...first, I will have to start flying through the anatomy sheets...basically ignoring most of the details and skimming though the cases.
Then I'll throw my eyes over each diagnosis in Medicine at a Glance (the book that every patient hopes their doctor never used in medical school). Burn through about 1300 histology slides. (Thank goodness that pink stain never starts to blur into one image after a while...)
Next I'll somehow read through the learning objectives fromall a handful of the cases and hope to hell it's those ones that show up on the long answer. Not like last year where 10% of the written marks came from if you knew what a P-value was or not. Really glad I spent all that time memorizing, oh, everything but stats.
Wow. There were a lot of numbers in the preceding paragraphs. Am I perseverating on irrelevant details? Trying to somehow strategize how I can cram all of those numbers into the number "7" which is how many days I have left to study?
In other, more interesting, non-medical-school-meltdown news, I think I'm going to abandon my attempt to read 100 Years of Solitude unless someone from the blogoland can convince me that it's worth sticking with it. I am about 100 pages in now, and it just hasn't grabbed me. I thought I'd give Gabriel GarcÃa Márquez another shot after Love in the Time of Cholera became an anvil in my backpack two years ago on my Himalayan trip (one of the few books I brought with me so I felt I had to keep reading it).
The other reason I am feeling tempted is Freedom by Johnathan Franzen is sitting on my bedside table waiting to be read. Well, it was supposed to be for my Christmas break (but then, so was Into the Wild which I accidentally started reading and finished last week). I remember loving The Corrections so I have been wanting to get into Freedom ever since I saw it at the bookstore.
I just like staring at the cover and thinking "December 15th, late afternoon...sigh" I'll get my own little taste of freedom for a few sweet weeks.
Breaks over! Back to it...
Since we get our curriculum delivered via case-studies (PBL) and our exams are cumulative for years 1 and 2 that means I have to memorize/learn/understand/regurgitate 48 cases from the last year and a half for my exams. Which start in 8 days.
Each case has an anatomy component (these weekly mini-case studies we have to know around all the differentials, embryology, etc--usually about 20 slides), a histology component (usually about 30 slides), pharmacology, physiology, pathology, stats, and of course all the psycho-social stuff (which has yet to ever show up on an exam).
So I thought I'd get through all the cardiac cases today (as a treat to myself, since I like cardiac).
Yeah, I got through 2 cases. TWO. And I have cranked out a solid 10-11h of focused study. This is not good. I think I will have to abandon all plans for actually going through cases properly and go into a take-no-prisoners mode. I don't know what that last statement means but...first, I will have to start flying through the anatomy sheets...basically ignoring most of the details and skimming though the cases.
 |
| I really never thought I'd have to know so much about the larynx... next slide! |
Next I'll somehow read through the learning objectives from
Wow. There were a lot of numbers in the preceding paragraphs. Am I perseverating on irrelevant details? Trying to somehow strategize how I can cram all of those numbers into the number "7" which is how many days I have left to study?
In other, more interesting, non-medical-school-meltdown news, I think I'm going to abandon my attempt to read 100 Years of Solitude unless someone from the blogoland can convince me that it's worth sticking with it. I am about 100 pages in now, and it just hasn't grabbed me. I thought I'd give Gabriel GarcÃa Márquez another shot after Love in the Time of Cholera became an anvil in my backpack two years ago on my Himalayan trip (one of the few books I brought with me so I felt I had to keep reading it).
The other reason I am feeling tempted is Freedom by Johnathan Franzen is sitting on my bedside table waiting to be read. Well, it was supposed to be for my Christmas break (but then, so was Into the Wild which I accidentally started reading and finished last week). I remember loving The Corrections so I have been wanting to get into Freedom ever since I saw it at the bookstore.
I just like staring at the cover and thinking "December 15th, late afternoon...sigh" I'll get my own little taste of freedom for a few sweet weeks.
Breaks over! Back to it...
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Creepy
 |
| Look into my dead, soulless eyes...I beg of you... |
I would not give this man money (even if I had any). I would walk slowly backwards from him, never losing eye contact until I got far enough to turn and sprint in the opposite direction.
Sorry Jimmy, not this time. Not with that photo.
Friday, December 3, 2010
B.M.
Oh the memories, the stories I could tell...Yes, I did call this post "BM".
Only because I've written this abbreviation so many many times in my life, yet recently it has taken on a new meaning: basement membrane.
I never thought those two letters would ever mean anything else in my world.
Safe to say, it will resume it's original meaning in August when I start my clerkships...
Only because I've written this abbreviation so many many times in my life, yet recently it has taken on a new meaning: basement membrane.
I never thought those two letters would ever mean anything else in my world.
Safe to say, it will resume it's original meaning in August when I start my clerkships...
 |
| Taken from http://www.bu.edu/histology/p/22403lba.htm a.k.a my favorite web site right now. |
Thursday, December 2, 2010
In Kicking Myself For Not Asking...
I always ask questions at the end of lecture. Barely anyone else ever does which I find weird and borderline irritating. I feel like saying "Really? No one has a question? This nephrologist just lectured to us for 2 hours and everything was crystal clear--you have never wanted to ask a nephrologist anything?"
Sometimes I bite my tongue, or just ask after class because even though a really big part of me doesn't care what the other students think of my question asking behaviour, sometimes I just don't want to be that girl. You know, the one who asks questions. Every. Lecture.
Anyway, yesterday I went to an evening presentation by the only peds neurosurgeon in Ireland. Yes, you read that last line correctly. I didn't ask my question because a few people (mostly doctors) in the audience were asking long blow-hard-like-listening-to-their-own-voice-pseudo-questions. Also, I was pretty sure that I must have missed a pivotal aspect of neural tube development/spina bifida/Arnold-Chiari malformations in school because NO ONE ELSE asked and it seemed like a really obvious question (why do repaired spina bifida patients who no longer have ACM's still need shunts, why do they still have hydrocephalus, like forever??)
I kicked myself afterwards because when I ran into my anatomy prof in the parking lot I asked him. He had been wondering the same thing. Anyway, when I was venting my frustration at not asking (and my reasons why) he said,
Everyone waits for someone else to ask the key question. Evolution taught us to take risks vicariously.
So, anyway. That is my quote for the week. Nay, month.
I think I will get a coffee mug with that written on it.
Sometimes I bite my tongue, or just ask after class because even though a really big part of me doesn't care what the other students think of my question asking behaviour, sometimes I just don't want to be that girl. You know, the one who asks questions. Every. Lecture.
Anyway, yesterday I went to an evening presentation by the only peds neurosurgeon in Ireland. Yes, you read that last line correctly. I didn't ask my question because a few people (mostly doctors) in the audience were asking long blow-hard-like-listening-to-their-own-voice-pseudo-questions. Also, I was pretty sure that I must have missed a pivotal aspect of neural tube development/spina bifida/Arnold-Chiari malformations in school because NO ONE ELSE asked and it seemed like a really obvious question (why do repaired spina bifida patients who no longer have ACM's still need shunts, why do they still have hydrocephalus, like forever??)
I kicked myself afterwards because when I ran into my anatomy prof in the parking lot I asked him. He had been wondering the same thing. Anyway, when I was venting my frustration at not asking (and my reasons why) he said,
Everyone waits for someone else to ask the key question. Evolution taught us to take risks vicariously.
So, anyway. That is my quote for the week. Nay, month.
I think I will get a coffee mug with that written on it.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
December already?
So apparently it is December.
November seemed to whiz by, our cases were pretty interesting (but sad) overal. We had a homeless man with schizophrenia, a girl with bulimia, and now two kidney cases back to back. I wanted to write about our bulimia case (don't worry, these are fictional 'cases') because we did 2 weeks worth of learning about eating disorders, which was really, really depressing. Hopefully I will get a chance to jot some thoughts down soon before it is all gone from my brain.
Kidney. We meet again. And again. Yet this time I am strangely attracted to your complex mystique. There is so much going on there, I love and hate you now, when before I just hated you. There is something almost mathematical, but artistic about that loop of Henle. I am determined to get inside the mind of the nephron this time around. YOU WILL BE MINE, KIDNEY!!!
Ok, I've not been sleeping much, it's giddy-tired today. I decided I am taking my camera out with me today to do a "day in the life" montage for the blog.
November seemed to whiz by, our cases were pretty interesting (but sad) overal. We had a homeless man with schizophrenia, a girl with bulimia, and now two kidney cases back to back. I wanted to write about our bulimia case (don't worry, these are fictional 'cases') because we did 2 weeks worth of learning about eating disorders, which was really, really depressing. Hopefully I will get a chance to jot some thoughts down soon before it is all gone from my brain.
Kidney. We meet again. And again. Yet this time I am strangely attracted to your complex mystique. There is so much going on there, I love and hate you now, when before I just hated you. There is something almost mathematical, but artistic about that loop of Henle. I am determined to get inside the mind of the nephron this time around. YOU WILL BE MINE, KIDNEY!!!
Ok, I've not been sleeping much, it's giddy-tired today. I decided I am taking my camera out with me today to do a "day in the life" montage for the blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)