Sunday, June 26, 2011

12 Things My First Triathlon Taught Me Today

1. Being flat chested is a blessing when you're running in a bathing suit.

2. You care a little less about the rain when you're running/biking in a swimsuit...because a wet t-shirt makes you feel like you're in a bad beer commercial from the 80's but a wet bathing suit makes you feel're in a wet bathing suit.

3. When in a swimming pool, the three sweetest words on the planet are not, "I love you" but in fact, "one lap left". 

4. Grey hair and pot-belly do not a slow swimmer make.

5. The only thing more crippling than the foot arch cramp of doom in the pool is the calf-muscle cramp of death on a bike.

6. Energy drinks do not provide energy.

7. Even though they say it to every single person going past them, when a stranger yells, "you're doing great! Keep up the good work!" the world seems a little brighter, for about 5 seconds.

8. It is hard to put socks on damp feet, fast.

9. Sports gels taste pretty much the same going down as coming back up (though they are slightly less viscous, which is pleasing).

10. "Swimming pool" = "water torture".

11. My older siblings are still kicking my ass at everything in life. (Except blogging. I have mad blogging skillz. And I tweet, so BOOM. IN YOUR FACE SUCKAS!!!)

12. You never notice the helping hand of a tailwind but you sure do feel the bitch-slap of a headwind. 


Expect a complete, boring, sports-interview style breakdown of the triathlon tomorrow when I have recovered from the full body tetany which I am currently suffering from.

In the meantime I'll just say that I had a great time out there, I gave 110%, and the best offence is a good defence. Or something.



Solitary Diner (Also Known as The Frugalish Physician) said...

Congratulations! I'm very impressed by your accomplishment (particularly because my accomplishment for the day was eating chocolate and blogging).

Albinoblackbear said...


Eating chocolate and blogging are my staple activities most days, today was a temporary blip. :)

Research said...

Awesome! I'm impressed you just went through exams then hopped on a trans-Atlantic flight and then did a triathlon.

The last triathlon I was in my goal was to be faster than the 70+ nun! (seriously!)

Albinoblackbear said...

Elderly nuns are major contenders...they never have a headwind! ;)

NPO said...

Congrats, it will be fun hearing more details about the event, and what about those grey haired and potbellied swimmers. :)

Absentbabinski said...

Haha! Glad to hear you enjoyed it :)

OMDG said...

The fast swimmers are the ones without the wetsuits, wearing the Swedish goggles.

I hope those gels were caffeinated. THOSE provide energy.

Yay for being flat!

Congrats on finishing! I hope you enjoyed the afterglow. It's pretty awesome.

Frazzled-Razzle-RN said...

Congrats, glad to hear you endured!

Anonymous said...

Way to go!

And yes, sports gels are basically flavoured cement, designed to irritate the stomach as much as possible while running. And yes, it's always the unassuming ones who wind up kicking your butt at the race (I have a great photo of me getting passed at kilometer 18 of a half-marathon I did last year by a lady who could easily have been my great grandmother both in age and in her choice of attire).

RH said...

Number 9 is so true, but reading it is so much funnier than experiencing it!


howlindawgs said...

Dude, sweet! Thanks for sharing your lessons! I did my first tri yesterday too! It was just a sprint tri. For a person whose idea of fun is running 26 miles, it surprisingly kicked my ass. If it's OK, I'll share my lessons learned with you:
1. 600 yards swim in open water is a LOT longer than you'd think!
2. NEVER EVER EVER do a road triathlon on a 20 year old, steel framed mountain bike! I was like a Pug surrounded by Greyhounds. (PWNED!)
3. When you get off a bike, somehow it feels like you've forgotten how to run, even if you've been running for 23 years.
4. Even though it's fun to blow past 10 or so people in the run, you can't make up a 20 minute bike leg deficit (see #2 above) during a 5K.
5. Runners sink more than they swim.
6. Even if you've swallowed half the lake, your water will be much needed at the end of the bike.
7. After you've done one, you can't wait to do another (even if you got PWNED, see #2 above)

howlindawgs said...
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PGYx said...

You are amazing! I'm beyond impressed (and inspired)!