Sunday, March 26, 2017

Rural Doc Realities

Even though alcohol is legal and I don't have an unhealthy relationship with it, I always feel a little awkward about stocking up on wine and beer in my local liquor store. I have this irrational fear that I will see a patient and they will think it's inappropriate that their doctor drinks Chelada's or American reds. I hated buying booze as a resident because I always looked so haggard and forlorn I was convinced people would assume it was the alcohol that made me that way and not the fact that I'd been up for 44 hrs on a surgical "bender".

As an attending I hardly drink as I'm on call 1:2 (or 1:3 at best). Alcohol has become a treat because it also means my phone can be off and I can shower without having a "get to the hospital in 5 minutes" outfit laid out on the bathroom floor.

So I go to the (one and only) liquor store the other day in the hopes of maintaining a low profile. I do my sweep while trying to eye out the selection. It's pretty disappointing, as I expected it would be. But, in a way I'm glad it's no Wine Cellar* because it would be too hard to stick to my new $100/month budget if I had their glorious products to choose from. When Barefoot and Yellowtail are rounding out the options it makes splurging on a Rodney Strong or a Layer Cake seem indulgent.

I'm perusing the boxed wines and wondering how rapidly I would descend into alcoholism if I started drinking Copper Moon by the box when I hear "DR. BLACKBEAR!! DR. BLACKBEAR! How ARE YOU??" My eyes have still not quite adjusted from the sunlight outside so I look around, trying to locate the voice while half-hiding behind the Pilsner stand. People are milling about and looking in my direction. A staff member is waving wildly at me and smiling. I think I recognize her from the clinic...? The ED...? I don't think I've delivered her baby recently...did I ?

Hi.

Hiiiiiiiii!!!! ARE YOU ON CALL TODAY?

Yes. (I can't lie, dammit. I was on call. What if she ended up going into the hospital that night with an appendicitis and they called me in to see her? Then it would seem even sketchier that I'd lied about it. I wasn't planning to drink the booze THAT night, I just knew I wouldn't have time to get there any other day this week. Besides, I am on call all week anyway!)

OH MAN YOU WORK SOOOO MUCH! THEY REALLY WORK YOU GUYS TO THE BONE!

Yes. (Now people are staring at me, they are judging me not only for my choices in alcohol but the fact that I am a doctor and buying it during the day, when I'm on call!!)

ARE YOU TAKING PATIENTS YET?

No...erm...I am doing so much call and covering the surgical program right now so I am not really in the clinic that much and I ...... (I'm mumbling, trailing off, and deciding if I should just pull the pin on this whole endeavor and leave without buying anything. But I feel like I am committed and really, my husband would come and buy just one bottle of Malbec then try and convince me I liked it in the past).

WELL I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY DOCTOR!!!

I think I then sputtered something about continuity of care and resources and some apologies while going to the farthest till away and hoping things would peter out from there.

A lady with tight permed curls and a wrist brace starts ringing in my order. She keeps her eyes locked in mine as I fumble with my wallet and hit the automatic start on my key ring.

What is your name? Says wrist brace without looking away.

Albino. 

No, what is your DOCTOR name?

The other people behind me in line lean in slightly.

Dr. Blackbear (WHY WHY WHYYYYYYY)

Hmpf. Well I don't have a family doctor EITHER. 

So, so sorry to hear that I think there are a few doctors at the clinic taking patients....byyyyyeeee thank youuuuuuuuuu.........!

I grab my bag and head for the door. My initial greeter yells, BYE DR. BLACKBEAR SEE YOU LATER HOPE YOU GET A BREAK SOON!!!

You and me both, honey, you and me both.

--

*I was not paid to put that endorsement there. The Wine Cellar and 124st St Liquor Store were my two favorite places to go when I lived in Edmonton and was discovering the world of wine. The staff were super knowledgeable, the selections were varied and interesting, and I never felt intimidated about asking questions. I loved pretending I knew anything about wine and pretending I could afford the good stuff. And look how far I've come in the past 15 years, now I know even less about it all and can still only afford the cheap stuff!



 




2 comments:

Cartoon Characters said...

It's been a while since I visited any blog let alone mine ;-)
Came back here to see where you were practicing, not that you would say!
I couldn't find an MD in my community for 6 years so I can relate to the ladies you ran into in the liquor store!
I usually had plenty of opportunities to snag a GP when I worked in a hospital but now I don't have that kind of "in".
It wouldn't have taken 6years to get a doc in my community :-)

Teflon Dad said...

When I was first in practice (9k+ population town in US West)a patient confided to me that she knew Dr. X is an alcoholic! Yes, she saw him buying a 6-PACK of beer! I have avoided buying alcohol in town ever since.