Friday, September 26, 2008

How about some tact...and a side of discretion?

I knew that once I made my "this is the last post before I go to India" post that something would happen and I'd have the urge to make one...last...post...again.

I sent this story to a friend this evening and then knew I wanted to put it up here. I mean really...what is a humiliating public experience good for if you don't use it as blog fodder??

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So I got my friend Dr. A to write me a script for all the things I might possibly need for any variety of illness or accident that could occur. He's been to India so I just put it into his hands. But I didn't look at everything he wrote down on the script...

I go, drop it off at busy drug store midday...hum de hum...just killing time...waiting for my Rx...

When I return to pick it up the pharmacist tech inquires in a very loud voice,

"are you waiting for a Rx?"
"yes"
"what is the last name?"
"Blackbear."
"Albino?"
"yup"

There are several people milling about also waiting for their drugs. She says over their heads,

"Your doctor ordered something that is over the counter, do you want me to grab it for you?"

"Sure."

I get up thinking...what could that be? She walks through the line and grabs a tube of canesten (yeast infection cream) out of the aisle, holds it up and says in her not-so-sotto voice

"He ordered a waaaaay bigger amount than this...do you want me to grab you a few packs?"

"um...no...that is fine"

I assume the public humiliation is over but she's just getting started.

"So, this is an ANTI-FUNGAL cream and it is MEANT FOR THE VAG but you can put it anywhere"

I am torn between thinking, 'did she just yell out VAG?' and trying to form a response that might truncate this exchange.

As she steps behind the counter she turns the box over in her hands reading the side,

"Yep. For the VAG but if you have a FUNGAL INFECTION anywhere else it'll work there too"...

Thanks, I can read. Please don't trouble yourself by reading me the information off the box!!!

Also, please allow me to dig myself into the linoleum now as I note the fellow customers take a precautionary step backwards.

Its not like I can save face my announcing to the crowd,

"I don't actually have a VAG infection (really, I don't) it's just that I am going to be traveling in some remote areas and I wanted to bring some medications just in case...I mean, I don't even GET yeast infections but my friend ordered it for me because..." shit.

So I hold my head high and try to pay with some dignity.

I still can't believe she used the word VAG!!!!

9 comments:

Dragonfly said...

She gets zero points for discretion :-)

Albinoblackbear said...

hahah--I know. If she's ever my patient in ER I will have to use major self restraint!

ahahah

:P

Wounded Healer said...

Maybe she thought by using the truncated "vag" that no one would know what she was talking about.

Albinoblackbear said...

Good point... I forgot that lay people don't get our medical abbreviations! hahahaha

nice one

I hadn't thought of that...

Bostonian in NY said...

I probably would have tried to get her to yell the word VAGINA across the pharmacy

"Where does it go again?"

Albinoblackbear said...

yeah...I should have...or asked her where else I could have the pleasure of having a FUNGAL infection...

shudder

:)

K said...

I'm going into GYN just so i can say vag indiscriminately

Albinoblackbear said...

K--nice!

I guess I should just be happy she didn't use the word
"vajayjay"!!!

Rogue Medic said...

Maybe she just can't pronounce vagina, or even vajayjay.

Don't worry. When this happens to me, I just say it is for a friend. Nobody suspects it is for me. Really. :-)