Monday, October 5, 2009


Whenever I had an eyelash on my cheek, my former boyfriend would always brush it away with his finger and hold it in front my lips for me to blow away while making a wish.

It never seemed hokey or contrived to me. Every time he did this I would indeed make a wish. For as long as I can remember every wish I ever made was to one day get into medical school. This was the candles on the cake, the money in the fountain, the shooting stars.

Two days ago I was on a bus trip with some classmates and one of them said, "oh, you've got an eyelash" and proceeded to brush it off, onto the ground. Of course my knee jerk response was "Hey! I didn't get to make a wish on it!"

It got me thinking...what would I wish for now? And nothing jumped to mind. I mean, nothing. I guess I've been putting so much of my psychic, emotional, mental, physical, financial effort into this goal for so long that it really pushed everything else out. With medical school like a looming building on my landscape, so many seedling goals died in the shadow.

Accomplishing a long term goal certainly has it's adjustment phase. Though I am here and very much living in the moment, enjoying what I am learning...I've been wondering, what do I wish for now?


Keet said...

Are you wishing that Keet lived even closer? or that you found a $1000000 note on the sidewalk?
Or that you'd bought those sequined pants when you had the chance?
I know I am.

I'm so proud of you. New goal : BEST DOCTOR EVER!

Fordo said...


To have medical school paid for.

Just some suggestions.

Bostonian in NY said...

Residency interviews for me!!! meant happiness.

You'll find your goals congealing soon enough when the journey is over...for now continue basking in the fulfillment of your last ultimate goal.

Rogue Medic said...

With medical school like a looming building on my landscape, so many seedling goals died in the shadow.


Other goals are hibernating or yet to be discovered. Dead is a bit too permanent a fate for something you may return to when you are better able to accomplish it.

Tom Stoppard has a great, if a bit sad, quote on the topic -

We cross our bridges when we come to them, and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.

I've been reading your blogs for long enough to know that, you will have much, much more than memories of smoke and tears.

Oops. I've been outed by the word verification - sapho. I guess I can't hide my inner lesbian.

Albinoblackbear said...

Keet---YES. Wishing you lived down the hall from me and carried my books to class everyday like the true gentleman friend you are.
I do regret not buying the sequined pants at the time but what I regret even more was BUYING the sequined mini-dress a week later. What was I thinking???

Thank you. Though "best doctor ever" is a bit tough to quantify and perhaps a bit lofty. ;)

Fordo--Well see that is the thing...I wondered...if I didn't have anything to wish for does that mean that I am happy? Satisfied? I really couldn't think of anything (other than a tongue in cheek wish for free tuition) that I have a burning desire for now. The medical school goal must have used up a lot of my kindling.

BINY--But of course...once I take a step back I see that it is indeed residency interviews for you that would make my life complete. ;)

I will try and bask for a few moments. It's nice to bask.

And I do hope that you get what you want for seem like someone who will though. Fingers crossed!

Rogue---I LOVE the quote. Wow. That is something to ponder. And I hope you're right about the things I'll rediscover at a later debt free living. Was I good at anything other than getting into medicine?? hahah....ughh.

simmers said...

Brushing one off onto the ground!
I hope you didn't lash out at them. I suppose they're used to catching leprechauns to get their wishes and don't know any better.
I've been known to scour counter-tops and floors for 'lost' lashes.
Having what you always wished for will soon enough become your new norm. Except that in your new norm you'll be cooking on an Aga.