Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Today's Major Event

I just sent this email to a friend and then realised how truly absurd it is...

"I just killed the largest spider I've ever seen in an attempt to free it to the great outdoors. It took me about 20 mins to dispose of the body as I had to psyche myself up for every stage of the removal. Let's just say it took a spinach container lid, several reams of paper towel, 6 squares of lysol wipes, and two plastic bags. Did I mention I am a COMPLETE arachnophobe?

Strange how I can stick my finger in strangers' orifices, get vomited on, pick maggots out of festering wounds, pull crushed fingernails out of the socket, and spill blood on myself but coming within 5 ft of an arachnid pinches the ol' adrenals into overdrive.

I don't get myself."

I know arachnophobia is not an uncommon fear but I wonder sometimes what really scares people like soldiers, HAZMAT workers, exterminators, high rise window washers...

7 comments:

Keet said...

yer mom. or my mom for that matter. yikes!
Kidding!
perhaps we could engage in some exposure therapy, to help you overcome your fear I'll dress up in a giant foam spider costume and we'll do an interpretive dance called "arachnophobia". it may involve pincers. and djembe.
Just a warning.

Ryan said...

I handled a bird today that had botfly larvae living in its nostrils and ears.

Albinoblackbear said...

KK--HAHAHAHAHAH! A giant spider is probably the only thing you haven't dressed up as! Pincers? NICE. Djembe? Oh yeah.

Ry--Ok gross. I prefer invisible colonization myself.

Keet said...

Botfly larvae?? That is seriously disturbing. Check out the wikipedia images associated with myiasis... not pretty.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myiasis

WWWebb said...

This tough old ex-EMT gets completely grossed out if he has to handle raw chicken with his bare hands.

And why pick out the maggots? They're God's little debriders...

Albinoblackbear said...

WWW-Yeah but I'd prefer medical grade maggots to back-alley-MRSA-VRE-maggots.

I always envisioned those maggots with little tiny capes on... they were SUPER MAGGOTS!!!

EWww....raw chicken. I can't pick up a dead fish by it's eyeballs.

SPC J said...

I noticed that soldiers like to be phobic of needles.

Unless they're medics, then they can't get enough of 'em. "what? you need practice? here's a vein for ya!"