Sunday, December 11, 2011

Where Am I Going Again?

As I mentioned on twitter this afternoon, when I pack I am sort of like a dog circling a spot before lying down. Only my ritual seems to involve spinning around for hours. Packing has the tendency to flare up an attention deficit problem and I find myself vacuuming, baking, cleaning my hard drive, flossing, and online shopping while stuffing random articles into my suitcases.

This trip home is exciting and a little unsettling at the same time. I haven't been back to Canada for Christmas since 2008 so naturally I am looking forward to watching some crisp moonlight snowfalls with the Nana Mouskouri Christmas album playing in the background. I can't wait to see my mom, Tobie, his family, my good friend Liz...the Arab grocery store in Montréal that I love.

The unsettling part is that I don't know how long I am going for, and where I'll be for January. It is a little difficult to pack when you don't know if you'll be spending a month in Arizona or Nunavut, a GP office or an O.R. We're talking a lot of variety here. Heels? Hikers? Nylons? Blouses? Scrubs? Sneaks? Not to mention which books I'd bring based on the place / rotation. I am still trying to arrange something but my most recent lead is looking unlikely now as well. I found out this week that I also didn't get any electives at the University of Ottawa for the summer. Have I mentioned that I am tired of feeling like a medical pariah an outcast? Is this blog post turning into a pity party? Maybe...

So now, instead of coming back to Ireland at the end of January it looks like I might be flying straight back after New Years. Sigh. I just want an opportunity to learn, and to get some hands-on experience.  It is really disheartening to constantly feel doors close in my face when I am working hard and putting myself out there. It is true that at every turn medicine asks, how badly do you want this??

OK. That is enough whining. 

On a happier note...the ginger cake that I made today turned out beautifully. I may be turning a corner in this whole baking thing. Yes, yesterday my kitchen did look like I'd had a seizure in it while holding a bag of baking soda and I probably ate 4000 calories of "broken" brownies oh I can't bring the broken ones to the Christmas party...but with each event the baking part gets a little easier and the results get a little more edible. Maybe I should try to get an elective at a pasty school...hmmm...


Solitary Diner (Also Known as The Frugalish Physician) said...

My personal strategy for packing is just to keep cramming things into my suitcase until I can't fit any more in. And to bring a credit card so that I can buy anything I'm missing.

I hope you're able to find a good elective at a Canadian school. I can't imagine the whole other level of pressure that comes from training overseas. Wishing you the best of luck with it all.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Hang in there. Wish I had more to say.

patricia kelly said...

So how about trying for a US elective close to the canadian border. I am thinking of the detroit metropolitan area, northern Vermont (I know, a bit rural there), Buffalo, northern Washington, northern Michigan, etc. We have hundreds, if not thousands of hospitals that have students from the caribbean medical schools rotate all over the country, someone from a really top notch Irish school should have no trouble I would think.

So what happens if, God forbid, you finish up all of your medical education in Ireland. You could still try for a residency in the US and probably get it, and then do an extra year and return to Canada, yes? I admit I am much more familiar with the IMG situation in the US but yours seems to be unreasonably discouraging.